i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
