I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize