i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
