You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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