Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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