Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I puked a lego.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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