I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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