Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
