Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
