Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
