Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
