I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
