Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I deserve this hangover.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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