I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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