just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
