I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
