i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
