what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
