We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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