She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
