i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize