Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
