Fuck appropriateness.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
