You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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