when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
