we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just googled if crying burns calories
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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