Pants 0. Shit 1.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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