I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
