"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
