I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
