I want to have your abortion
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
