My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
