I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
