Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
