a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
