This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize