Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
