I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
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