My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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