You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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