Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
