If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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