they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
and you fell through a lawn chair
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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