The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize