you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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