im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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