My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
