its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
the raccoons are back...
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