so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
