where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That accounts for only three of the penises
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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