There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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