So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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