I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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