Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize