Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
