He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
