Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
