Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
