Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
