i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think my fart just growled at me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
