it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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