I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
