he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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