she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
