He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
